Advice for new parents

My younger sister announced a couple of months ago that she’s going to have a baby! I’m absolutely thrilled that a new little boy or girl will be joining our family.
When Liana said she wished there was something she could read to learn what to do I told her to get a copy of “What to expect when you’re expecting.” I had to get her a copy of the book. And I also want to pass on some of my own “What to expect” advice…

My advice for mothers to be.

Don’t be surprised when people ask you personal, rude questions, or say rude things to you. Trust me, it will happen. While pregnant with both Skyler and Lindsay I frequently was told how big I was. But one time in particular sticks in my mind. When I was pregnant with Skyler a college-aged girl I worked with asked me how far into my pregnancy I was. I told her six months, and she proclaimed something along the lines of “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe how big you are. I’m never going to have a baby because I don’t want to ever be that big.” Perhaps she’s stuck with that to spare the world from rude people like her.

And the rude remarks might not be confined to your size. When I was pregnant people often asked if I knew I was having a boy or a girl – certainly not a bad question by itself. But when pregnant with Skyler two people I didn’t know asked me if a boy was what I really wanted. I answered completely honestly and simply that I wanted a healthy baby. Even if I’d been longing for a girl (which is not the case, I really did want a healthy baby) did those people honestly think I’d divulge that to them?
So be prepared. Maybe have a few responses lined up, or better yet, only hear the comments about how much you glow.

After the baby is born, don’t be surprised at how protective you feel. When I was out shopping for necessities, strangers (usually well-meaning older women) would often try to look – and even touch – the baby. Don’t be surprised when you want to push them away.

Here is my list of handy items to have for baby:

Infant car seat. The infant car seat lets you tuck the baby snugly in it while still inside the house, then you carry it to the car. And as everyone knows, babies often fall asleep while in the car. With the infant car seat, you take the entire seat out with baby in it when you get where you’re going, so a sleeping baby can continue to sleep.
And you can use the seat to carry baby in stores too. Just put it in the shopping cart.
Infant car seats also often fit into strollers (and are sold together). The stroller alone can be used for an older child. I honestly don’t know how new parents managed without these.

Bouncy seat. This item is a necessity up until the baby can start moving on his or her own. The seats bounce, and most have vibration, which babies just love. Many also make music too.

Brand name baby wipes (without fragrance for newborns). For cleaning up baby bottoms, and anything else that needs cleaning up. This is one item where the no-name brand doesn’t work nearly as well. My favorite brand of wipes was Huggies.

No-name brand diapers. Forget the marketing hype. No-name brand diapers work just as well as the expensive brand name diapers, for a much smaller price.

Infant Tylenol. For when baby is getting shots, and also for when baby seems to be feeling bad. It might just be sugar water, but it always seemed to help baby feel better. Use as directed.

An infant gas remedy. Like the Tylenol, this might be sugar water, but it always seemed to help when my babies didn’t seem to feel well.

Blanket sleepers. Newborns love to stay warm, and blanket sleepers help them stay that way.

A good camera. Important for catching all those special moments.

A journal. Important for writing down special thoughts. Be sure to only write about the good, happy times. You'll want to remember them all.

Green splashed in the loo!

Nearly two years ago for Christmas, Santa brought Lindsay her two favorite babies. They are Fisher Price Little Mommy newborn twins, but to Lindsay they are Pink and Green. The picture here shows Pink on a hayride at the pumpkin farm last month. Lindsay alternates between which of the babies she prefers, and that baby gets the favored spot of being the baby who gets to go places.

Right now she likes Green the best, and she takes Green everywhere. She carries Green to the backyard, where Green gets to swing and go down the slide. She puts Green in the basket of her Dora tricycle and rides with her to the park. Green goes to school with Lindsay, and has gone to dancing lessons, to the airport, to many stores. Yes, Green gets around.

But a few nights ago Green went somewhere new.

I told Lindsay to use the bathroom in preparation for going to bed. A minute or so later Lindsay's voice cut through my own musings.

"Green splashed in the water!" she said in an obviously excited voice. At first it didn't dawn on me what had happened.

But a moment later, she let out a little scream and cry and repeated, "Green splashed in the water!" I suddenly realized what Lindsay was saying and I ran down the hall to the rescue. Sure enough, there was Green, her head and part of her body floating in the toilet. Fortunately it was a clean toilet, as Lindsay was climbing onto the toilet with Green in her hands when Green took her plunge. But it was still the toilet, and my brain went "Ewwww!" before I plucked the baby out.

Of course, Green went directly into the washer with a generous pouring of bleach. Usually I have to spirit Pink and Green away for several hours to wash them. But this time, Lindsay knowingly let me take Green away to wash her. I assured her that Green would be clean and ready for play by the morning. The next day, Lindsay asked about Green as soon as she saw me. Green still smelled slightly of bleach, but was otherwise unfazed by her swim the night before. And she still had a big smile on her face. I swear, nothing bothers that baby.

Don't go to the dark side, Skyler!

Sunday we went to a pet rescue fundraising event. There were several Star Wars characters there, which was the main reason that we went to this event. Characters we saw included a Storm Trooper, a TIE fighter pilot and an X-wing fighter pilot. Skyler was happy to get their autographs, and they posed for photos with him. All the Star Wars people were very nice. They even let many kids hold their weapons for photos. I was very happy that Skyler was able to see the SW dudes. I just hope he doesn't want to join the Empire now.

More autumn fun

After several days of rain the sun finally came back out Saturday morning, so I decided to take Lindsay to a nearby pumpkin patch that we hadn't been to before. From the parking lot, I couldn't see more than a few hay bale mazes, so I wasn't expecting much. But I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that behind the mazes and a large greenhouse, lay a cornucopia of pumpkin patch fun.

There was a fort with a tube slide, other tube slides on a hill, and an entire row of horse tire swings. There also was a really neat Halloween model train display. Inside a warm greenhouse there were places where the kids could get warm and play in dry corn. Lindsay loved filling buckets with corn and dumping it back out. We looked at the farm animals before going home for hot chocolate and soup for lunch.

En garde!

Several months ago Skyler mentioned that he wanted to try out the sport of fencing. I didn't even know where to begin finding a place where he could learn fencing, but a couple of months ago while perusing the city's sporting activity booklet I saw fencing classes take place only a couple of miles away. And a new class began that same day! I signed him up and every Saturday afternoon he's been enjoying learning how to fence.

Yesterday was his last day in the beginner class and the beginners jousted with members of the fencing club.

Every time he took off his protective mask, Skyler had a big smile on his face, even after being poked repeatedly. So it's safe to say he enjoys this sport. I signed him up for the intermediate class. If he still likes it after that he can join the fencing club. They meet every Saturday afternoon to practice. It's seems to be a good group of people. It's fun to see Skyler do something that he enjoys (especially that doesn't involve a video or computer game!).

Pumpkin fun

Yesterday was a sunny, crisp autumn day and I took the kids to a pumpkin farm. We got there only a few minutes after the place opened, but already there were plenty of kids there. Skyler had remembered to bring along flashlights, one for him and one for Lindsay. And the first thing he wanted to do after we got there was use the flashlights.

He wanted to take Lindsay into one of the dark mazes. I noticed that it seemed taller this year -- more adult friendly -- so I went into it too. With Skyler in the lead and Lindsay in front of me we went through the maze. Skyler led us through easily. We were glad we had the flashlights though. After we found our way out, Skyler and Lindsay braved the maze again. Lindsay had a huge smile on her face as she followed her big brother around.

The farm has expanded its children's play area. Now, there are two big slides. They next tackled one of the big slides. Skyler and Lindsay went up and came down together. Both had huge smiles on their faces as they went again and again. They also had a great time in an obstacle maze, which had several slides. And Lindsay loved the ziplines.

Such a fun way to spend a fall day.

Fastest sit in the Midwest

Saturday Skyler and I took Clover and Nimitz to the annual Reskie Reunion. It's a fun get together for all the people who have helped the American Eskimo Rescue of St. Louis during the year. We visited with people that we met at adoption days while we were fostering Nimitz, and got to see Eskies that had been adopted by others. The dogs loved getting attention and seeing all the other Eskies. There were about 100 people there, and probably about 40-50 dogs, most of which were Eskies.

One fun part of the event is the contests, which this year were dubbed the Olympics. One of the volunteers had made very cute medals for the winners of each contest, complete with a little photo of an Eskie.

Last year Clover won the Fastest Sit contest (and many years ago, in her younger days she'd won the Highest Jump). This year I hoped that Nim would win the Fastest Sit. Sit is the one command he knew when we got him. We've continued working on it though. I often play a little game with the dogs, playing with them, then telling them to either Sit, or Down. So Nim's Sit is pretty fast. However, when I saw the number of people that entered the Sit contest, I thought we'd be in trouble. How would the judges even be able to see Nim's fast sit?

Skyler went in like a pro though and had Nim stand until the judges said to sit. And when the judges said "sit" and Skyler told him to, Boom! down went the dog's butt. When they announced the gold winner, I was not expecting that Skyler and Nim would win. The competition was tough. But Nimitz was announced as the gold medalist. Way to go (once again) Nim and Skyler!

But of course, no matter how many ribbons and medals they get, I'm happiest about the way that they so obviously love each other. From how cutely Nim plays with Skyler, bringing him back balls and Frisbees for a game of fetch, to how Nim jumps up on Skyler's bed to cuddle in the morning, and to how Nim leaps onto the chair and gives Skyler kisses in his ear when Skyler's had a bad day at school.

Hasta la vista, las mariposas!

Three years ago I noticed a weed growing fairly prolifically in our backyard. And then I noticed the green, black and white caterpillars on the weed. A little research revealed that they were Monarch caterpillars on milkweed. Those caterpillars morph into beautiful orange, black and white butterflies and then fly to Mexico for the winter, then migrate back north in the spring.
That first year I only saw one chrysalis, in late fall. But last year I helped the milkweed flourish by putting up a couple of trellises for it to grow on, and we had an abundance of the plants. And we had an abundance of Monarch caterpillars. For several weeks Lindsay and I could count many caterpillars – several days we found as many as seven. And I found many of their chrysalises also. One day last year three butterflies emerged from their chrysalis on the same day. I liked to imagine that they all traveled to their wintering spots in Mexico together.
Unfortunately this year some other bugs attacked the milkweed and it hasn’t thrived in any of its spots in the yard. There have only been a few caterpillars too. A couple of weeks ago I finally spotted a chrysalis, hanging under the house eaves behind the garage.
Still, after seeing all these caterpillars change into butterflies, I had never seen one actually coming out of its chrysalis. Until two mornings ago.
I let the dogs outside and I went out to look at the chrysalis. The butterfly was slipping out of the chrysalis. I ran inside to get Lindsay and to get my camera. When I came back outside a few minutes later, the butterfly was already out of the chrysalis, plumping up its wings.
I watched and took photos as the butterfly worked on the last step of its metamorphosis from a crawling creature to one that would fly thousands of miles. When Lindsay and I went inside after playing, its wings were puffed out to their full size.
I went back outside in the afternoon and looked for the butterfly. At first I thought it had left, but then I saw it resting on a nearby milkweed vine. I grabbed my camera again and took photos of it when it spread its wings. Within a few minutes the butterfly fluttered into the air and landed in a sunny spot in our neighbor’s yard. I’m sure it took off soon after that to begin its long journey south.

Lindsay: Dancing Queen

Three weeks ago I signed Lindsay up for dancing lessons at a nearby dance studio. The first night I was worried whether she would be OK to go into the class. I imagined her clinging to me and crying. But I shouldn't have feared. She trotted into the class with the other little leotard-clad girls. And the school has a one-way window and I was able to see her skipping around in the class. (Cute doesn't even begin to describe the sight.) The teacher had them stand at the barre and jump while in a resemblance of different ballet positions. Halfway through the class they take off their shoes and do tumbling. It was so fun to watch the girls watch themselves as they jumped across the mat.

Last night was Lindsay's third night of dancing class. Judging by her big smile and squeal when she came out of the class, she had a good time again.

Of course I hope that she'll enjoy the class enough to want to stay in it until the recital in June. And I'd be lying if I didn't say I hope she enjoys it for years.

I was about 9 years old when I saw my first dance recital. My 3-year-old little sister took dancing lessons and we went to her recital. I loved the dances and I loved the costumes. A girl in my grade named Faith was in an upper level dancing class there. She must have started taking lessons when she was very young. She was in performances for ballet, tap, acrobatics and jazz. For each performance she wore the most wonderful costumes covered with spangles, fringe and tulle. I wanted to wear those costumes and do those dance moves too.

My mom signed me up for acrobatics that year. I was in a class with other girls who were beginning. We learned the usual beginner acrobatics stuff: cartwheels, headstands, backbends, handstands. Going to class and practicing was fun, but I couldn't wait until the recital. We began practicing our routine to the music. None of us were thrilled that our music was "Turkey in the straw." And while each of us performed an acrobatics solo, the others stood in a line bobbing up and down like country bumpkins. The costumes were the final insult. They were pink leotards with legs that went about halfway to our knees, ending in a ragged cut. Patches trimmed in sequins completed the bumpkin look. I gave a fine performance and should have been happy, but I wasn't -- not in that horrendous costume, dancing to "Turkey in the straw."

In contrast were Faith's beautiful costumes and awe-inspiring routines. She had one white leotard. For her ballet routine, set to beautiful ballet music, she wore blue tulle sleeves and a long blue tutu. For her jazz routine, set to a peppy disco song, she wore a fringe-covered skirt and fringe sleeves.

Naturally that fall I signed up for a class that included acrobatics, plus ballet and tap. Big mistake. In that class, I was the oldest there, and I felt like the Jolly Green Giant. I quit after a few months.

Lindsay is off to an early dancing start. Hopefully she'll be the dancing queen and get to wear the beautiful costumes and dance to the cool music.

1st place boy and dog!

Skyler and I took the dogs Sunday to a fun pet show at a nearby park. He and Nim competed in the Kids Obedience...and they won 1st place! I was so proud of them. Skyler had Nim sit, down, go to heel position, and pop up to his hand. Nim did everything perfectly and focused on Skyler the entire time. Very well done!

Playing the trombone

This year Skyler had two choices of what class would alternate with p.e. class. He could either take an instrument, or have a semester of art appreciation, and a semester of music appreciation. Citing studies showing benefits of learning an instrument, I convinced him that taking an instrument would be far more constructive than the other option. (Hopefully he won't hate me forever for that!). So after trying out a few brass instruments last spring, he decided that he liked the trombone the best. School started last week, and on the third school day he got to lug his trombone to school and have his first lesson. He said it went well, and he has practiced every day over the weekend. I'm happy to report that it has sounded better every day!

I bought his trombone online through ebay, and despite all the misgivings I had, and the horror stories I'd heard about, I had a positive experience (and saved a lot of money!). Here are tips to help others who want to save money by buying an instrument online.

1. Before buying, find a store in your area that is able and willing to look at the instrument after you buy it, and fix the instrument if necessary. The day after the trombone arrived, I took it to the local band service store and asked the woman there if it was worth what I paid. She told me yes, although it did need a minor and inexpensive ($10!) fix, which they did.

2. Before bidding on an instrument, make sure the seller offers a money-back return policy. Many did, but many were "as is."

3. Try to find out what brand preferences your child's music teacher has before buying the instrument. Skyler's teacher had a list of preferred brands, which we didn't get until a month after I'd bought the tbone. Based on positive reviews I'd read online, I was trying to buy a Getzen tbone. I had bid on one and had lost the bid. I then bid on a Bach that was closing later in the day, and we won it. I had read good things about Bach, but was disappointed not to get a Getzen. Turns out, I was very lucky. Bach is first on the teacher's preferred list, while Getzen isn't on the list at all.

4. Look at photos of the instrument before bidding. You want to have an idea of what you're getting.

5. Determine a price you're willing to pay (factor in the shipping charge too), and don't go over that price. If the bidding goes higher than your top price, look for another one to bid on. You don't want to spend more than you want to.

I hope this helps other parents who are trying to save money. I'm sure there are other tips, but this is what I can think of right now. Good luck!

He's growing up so fast

My 11-year-old son Skyler starts middle school next week. Several months ago his middle school had a pre-orientation night. At that time the school's principal kept saying that he knew we were worried and that this would be emotional. But I wasn't worried about him going to middle school, I was excited for him. I think he'll like having different teachers, and getting to know more kids.

I hadn't thought that his going to middle school would make me feel sad...until a couple of nights ago at the school's orientation. My husband took a photo of Skyler in front of his locker. As my husband and I went off to meet with the parents, and my son went off to meet up with the other kids, my husband showed me the photo he took. And it suddenly hit me -- he's going to middle school. This is just one step away from high school, which is only one step away from him going away to college, which is only one step away from...well, you get the picture.

The last time I felt like this he was starting kindergarten. That morning he climbed on the bus without looking back at me. I watched him find a seat and sit down. Then he looked out the window at me and I waved to him with a smile that I hoped he thought was real. As soon as the bus pulled away the tears came. I got into my van (I had to leave for work) and sobbed for a few minutes, fighting the urge to follow the school bus.

This year I expect there will be tears also as I watch him get on the school bus for sixth grade. But I know he'll be OK. He's the same brave guy that marched onto the bus that first day of kindergarten.

A visit to the zoo

Wednesday Skyler and Don were off to Oshkosh, Wis. for the annual EAA fly-in and convention, so I wanted to take Lindsay on a trip too.

Good weather was predicted so I decided we'd journey to the St. Louis Zoo. I'd hoped the shutdown of Highway 40 -- my usual way to get to the zoo -- wouldn't affect us too much. Unfortunately, it did. We left the house at about 8:10 a.m. I thought that would get us to the zoo by 9 a.m. We ran into slow traffic on Highway 170, then again at stoplights on Forest Park Parkway. We finally arrived at the north parking lot about an hour after we left. It normally takes us about 30-40 minutes to get to the zoo. Can't wait 'til the construction is finished.

We had a great time at the zoo. We went to the children's zoo first. We could have skipped it this year except that we love seeing the otters. They swim right toward the glass, then bounce off it and swim in the other direction. Lindsay was a little scared by that.

We went to River's Edge next, where the elephants and hippos live. Baby elephant Malia and her mama were out. We also saw Raja, the male born at the zoo some 18 or so years ago. He's gotten so big!

The hippos were fun to see. The cheetahs were a no-show again. I've only seen them out once in all the times I've gone.
Out of River's Edge, we headed to see the alligators, which are in outside enclosures. I thought we were going to see a Wild Kingdom moment at the Chinese alligator exhibit. A large turtle was next to the water then jumped or fell in. The alligator rushed to it and attacked. There was a scuffle underwater then the turtle emerged and skeedadled out of the water. I know killing things and eating them is what alligators do, but I was glad I didn't see it kill the turtle right in front of us.

We were getting hungry so we stopped to eat the sandwiches I'd brought. Then I bought ice cream for her.

We went to the penguin and puffin exhibit. Cool as always. After that Lindsay saw the carousel and had to ride twice (would have ridden more if I'd let her). We went through the aviary to the hoofed-animal area where we saw the giraffes. The giraffes are always good to see. There's almost always at least one giraffe standing at the front of the exhibit, so close you can practically touch them. This year the big male was right there. We sat on a park bench to rest and watched him.

Next we went to the zebras, which Lindsay said were her favorite. We were getting tired so we headed back to the entrance, but not before a stop at the gift shop. I bought a cute penguin coloring book for Lindsay. On the ride home, she looked through the book and it seemed to help her remember our good times there.

Way to go, Skyler and Nim!

On Dec. 26 of last year, Nimitz, an American Eskimo dog, came to live with us. At the time he was just over a year old. He had been given up to the local American Eskimo Rescue group by the person that bought him when he was a puppy. We wanted to foster Nimitz until he found a new home. Skyler wanted to keep him from the beginning, and a couple of months after we got him, I realized we wouldn't be able to part with the little guy. He would have to stay with us.
For the past six months Skyler has worked with Nimitz in a 4-H dog training class. Every week in class he would work with Nim on the basics of obedience, some tricks, plus agility. Skyler taught Nim to respond to many commands including "down," "stay," "come," "shake paw," "high five," and "spin." Skyler also taught Nim to go over jumps and through tunnels. They're still working on the weave poles (of course, that's a hard one to learn!).
Nim always does the commands so well. He loves working with Skyler, and never once ran from Skyler to me (that's what many of the dogs in class would do -- run away from the kid to the mom!). Sometimes Nim acted up in class. He likes to yap at other dogs. We're working on that.
But yesterday was the big 4-H dog show. And Skyler and Nim did very well. They earned second place ribbons in Care and Grooming, and in Rally Novice. I am very proud of Skyler for trying and hope that he continues working with Nim to gather even more ribbons.

Agility practice let down

This morning Skyler and I took the dogs to what sounded like a promising place to practice agility. It's a kennel not too far away that I'd learned had a field where they had agility equipment, including an A-frame and dog walk. For only $8 a visit, or $25 a month for unlimited visits, you could practice. At home, and at the 4-H class where Skyler goes, we have jumps, weave poles and tunnels, but no contact equipment. We drove about 20 minutes to get there. On first glance the grounds looked to be in bad shape and I almost drove back home without stopping. But the agility equipment looked OK, and I knew it was a "freebie" day to introduce the place, so we signed in and went into the fenced yard.
There was a small A-frame. I tried Clover on it. She slid on the way down. The slats were too far apart, and there was no sand on it to give it traction. I was glad we hadn't put Nim on it first. I wouldn't want his first time on the A-frame to be scary. Skyler did lead Nim across the dog walk. It didn't have sand either, but I told Skyler to go slow with him. Nim walked across the walk with no problems. We took Nim on the teeter also. I held the teeter and let it fall gently at the tipping point. Nim had no problems. He didn't seem fazed by the motion at all, which surprised me. Skyler also took Nim through the closed tunnel a few times with me holding up the fabric. He did very well. After the fourth time Nim went through the tunnel, he laid down on the tunnel's fabric though. He was telling us it was too hot to keep going.
At one point I sent Clover over a jump and she went to the weave poles on her own and did them perfectly! She's such a good girl.
We'd only been there about 35 minutes, but I decided to take Nim's hint. It was warm and humid, and the dogs were very hot. Hopefully they will make the equipment safer, otherwise I won't be back.

July 7

Lindsay had a fun time this morning at preschool. This week the school has a circus theme, and they had a bounce house today. When I picked her up, the teachers said that Lindsay was one of the first to climb into the bounce house.

This weekend we visited my in-laws in Des Moines, Ia. I went to the Living History Farms with Lindsay and my mother-in-law. I took this photo of Lindsay while we were on our way to the beginning of the farm. It was a fun place to visit. If you're ever in Des Moines, I recommend it!